Every couple experiences at least some marital problems. Some couples are able to resolve their problems and restore their relationships. For other couples, the problems put pressure on the relationship that eventually tears apart the marriage.
Newsweek describes patterns of destructive behavior commonly present in couples who eventually end up divorcing.
1. Not enough quality time spent together
For a relationship to grow, the parties have to spend time with one another. Couples who no longer attend parties together, go on dates or take vacations together have relationship troubles that could eventually lead to divorce.
However, it is not only the amount of time spent together but the quality. Couples who sit across from each other in icy silence at the breakfast table, not looking at one another, are not spending quality time together even though each is physically present.
2. Not communicating feelings and needs
Many married people expect their spouses to spontaneously anticipate their needs and wants without them having to express them verbally. It is a romantic notion, but one without a lot of basis in fact. Working at a relationship means communicating with one another about what each partner feels and what each expects from the relationship.
3. Working against one another
A married couple can see themselves as a team working together against outside opponents. Unfortunately, when a marriage is in trouble, each partner may start to see the other as an adversary working in opposition to him or her. Couples who start working against each other instead of working together start repeating blaming narratives. This leads to bitter resentments that are difficult to resolve.
Couples who recognize these patterns in their own relationships may want to seek counseling to find out if the marriage is still salvageable or has suffered irreparable damage.
